After some logistical problems with Cor being unable to get out of work on time, we finally managed to meet for a third time on Thursday.
We met outside the tube station. I was uncharacteristically early despite leaving the house about 30 mins later than intended due to “clothes problems” – i.e., once again being unable to find an “ensemble” I felt comfortable in.
I decided to do a little PUA reading before meeting this time. I refreshed my memory briefly about what tricks to play, about Juggler’s escalation, about story telling and the other bits and pieces. Actually my memory is so bad I can only remember those two right now and I don’t think I remembered many more on Thursday night. Shockingly bad.
So I stood out the front of the busy station at 6 and waited for her. She emerged about 10 mins later. Although I had vowed to kiss her when greeting her and being more warm this time around, unfortunately this did not go to plan! The moment she emerged out of the station and I saw her something along the lines of, “God, she looks awful, am I really meeting HER??” flashed through my mind. She did look terrible. No defined jawline, hair tied back severely and she was smiling – those teeth on display! Ugh! In fact why was she smiling? She seemed really happy to see me. Strange.
So I led the way. We found a nice quaint little Old English pub on the river and I got a couple of pints. The weather wasn’t too bad so I decided to sit outside. However, after 20 mins or so we both began to freeze so had to go back inside.
What was interesting about the night, at the least the first two hours anyway, was that I could talk the pants off her. And I was making her laugh. I was quite funny. I had quite interesting and entertaining stories. It was fascinating because the anxiety I had been experiencing leading up to this third meeting was that the conversation had been used up – there was nothing else to talk about. But here I was talking for England. It was very strange. It’s yet another instance of my negative predictions being wrong and my anxiety being therefore unfounded.
After the first pub we went to another one a bit further down the river. This was a slightly more expensive place. Not traditional but pretty modern and pretty noisey. But we managed to get a seat. The conversation was still flowing okay, there were only a couple of moment where someone needed to break a long silence. She broke it as I recall with a question about my preferred drink. And again, I surprised myself by not simply replying with a boring response such as, “yeah I always drink this stuff”. Instead I started talking about my old days of cigars and brandy and how I used to meet with old John who introduced me to these sophisticated ways.
Interestingly in this pub she started to look quite attractive to me. The way the light softly lit the contours of her face. Her jaw line looked more defined now too. Her eyes looked nice! And even her teeth were bearable. Was it the booze? Was it the light? Was her being in a more relaxed state causing this? I don’t know.
Having not eaten since 3pm my stomach started rumbling come 9:30ish and so we decided to head further down the river to find somewhere to eat. This is where things started to go wrong. We walked for ages and couldn’t find anywhere – they were too expensive or just too formal. I just wanted a bit of pub grub! So we walked for about an hour and found no where. The conversation got stale, I started to get bored so I’m sure she must have been feeling bored too at this point. Then my face started to get numb with the cold and I couldn’t think of anything to say!
So we walked in silence for a long way. My comedy dried up and anything I did say felt awkward. We ended up walking the way we’d come and going to another Old English type pub we’d passed earlier. We should have just come here. Damn it. Nevermind.
So we went in around 10:30. Unfortunately food service had finished at 10 so we just got a couple more drinks and talked till 11:30. The conversation was boring. More of the same. I was tired and bored. Was she too? She told me not to rush my drink. Maybe she wasn’t?
We headed back to the tube around 11:30 and said bye. She initiated a cheek kiss and and wished me a good trip. I said I might give her a call on the weekend, more out of politeness really. I can’t remember what she said. Then we departed.
I felt at the end of the evening that a third date without an escalation was not good. I think she probably felt the same. I’m sure I would have kissed her tonight if I’d been attracted to her. But I just wasn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to do it at any point. I couldn’t even bring myself to give her a peck on the cheek when we met or pull her in close when we were walking down the river in the cold wind..
Sigh. I’m not sure how to play it. Should I just call it a day? The two week holiday coming up will be a good opportunity to break contact for a while and keep it broken when I return. Maybe I should take it while I can.
