After pissing the whole day up the wall lying in bed, watching Youtube, chatting on Skype and staring at my eyelids as per usual I decided, despite a few off-putting spots of rain and not feeling up to it at all, to go out with the PUA gang. I really REALLY did not feel up to it – I still wasn’t feeling 100%, I hadn’t revised any of the material after the other week’s fiasco, I felt I needed a bit of separation from the guys after last time, and I just wasn’t generally feeling hopeful. But bam! Wrong again. My preditions went out of the window. Tonight was much better! How many times am I going to prove my negative mind wrong? I love it.
So okay, nothing spectacular happened, but it was 300% better than last time. For the first hour or so I felt things slipping away again as I bottled getting on the dance floor for the dancing lessons and stood at the sides giving off loser vibes. But I felt relaxed and as I was leaning and chatting with Jay on the upper part of the bar area a bit later on I suddenly felt in state and came up with an opener, “are you the singer – what time does the band start?” So I went for the first fitty that crossed my path, got her attention and asked, and lo and behold her answer was “yes I am the singer… the band starts at 10.” Weird! So it kind of backfired…
The next opener was to ask someone what time the band starts. Again I did it. It wasn’t so painful. I just asked this girl with huge cleavage on display and she said “i don’t know”. She looked a bit warily at the other guys as I asked – they were obviously staring lecherously at her (idiots). So I didn’t feel any vibing from her and just said “oh ok” and let her go.
Finally I saw another singer come by. Some of the new guys were standing nearby and I felt they needed to see that there were some balls in our group. So taking that feeling and feeling empowered to act like a man with more experienced in front of these noobs I asked the other singer whether they were starting again.
And that was that. So I got three openers in, which was 300% better than last time. Hopefully Saturday night will be the next babystep. I think part of the reason it worked was because I went out without expectations and no pressure on myself. In fact I felt sure I wasn’t going to do anything tonight and would go home after an hour or so not really caring – “as long as it got me out of the house” was my attitude. Also on the first and second approaches I was vibing with Jay and we were laughing so I felt that cheeky energy to just be spontaneous and suddenly turn around ask someone something. Those were definitely two important factors.
After the club we went across the street to the bar to see if anything else was going on. This place was shabby. I went to the loo and when I came back they’d just gone and sat at a table. So, the possibility of more action was off it seemed. But i felt happy to sit and chill as I felt I’d made progress tonight anyway.
After chatting for a while and discussing with our pissed very white friend about his thoughts on the whole thing we headed off. I took a taxi with whitey to the nearest tube before getting on my line and heading home. We planned to meet tomorrow and try somewhere else. Good idea. I got in around 12:30.
